


Hit me where it Hurts

by Apocanassus



Category: Sengoku Basara
Genre: Historical References, M/M, Stockholm Syndrome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23396413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apocanassus/pseuds/Apocanassus
Summary: "As his hand reached the skin under the cold metal, Kanbei couldn't help but lean backward out of embarrassment.It has been a lot of time since someone touched him and it felt so unnatural he almost thought it was just his imagination."
Relationships: Kuroda Kanbei/Mouri Motonari
Kudos: 4





	1. A secret letter

**Author's Note:**

> | Disclaimer: English is not my first language. I apologize in advance for eventual mistakes. If you find something wrong, may it be a grammar error or something that doesn't just sound good in your language, please let me know. I'd really appreciate your help! |

-If you're not busy mumbling nonsense, then do me a favor, Kuroda -

The voice of the young lord echoed through the room, breaking an unusual silence after the urgent war council held by Yoshitsugu.  
Many things were discussed previously, and Kanbei was struggling to remember all of the details he could; that's why he didn't pay attention to Motonari the first time.  
The fear of committing another mistake on the next mission was absorbing his mind entirely. He was getting tired of being thrown in dank and dark cells like an animal, after all.  
However, deep in his heart, he knew it was never enough.  
No matter how perfectly he accomplished his plans, Yoshitsugu would always find an excuse to make him beg for mercy.  
Useless to say, his silence irritated Motonari so much he had to raise his voice to grab his attention.  
-Are you deaf, Kuroda? Or are you trying to test my patience?-  
Promptly, Kanbei raised his eyes, cursing himself for not having listened to him before. Even a simple mistake like this could be considered an unforgivable outrage. It was such an annoying situation to handle.  
-I'm sorry- he grumbled, not able to fake his emotions anymore.  
He was tired of being treated like dirt.

Motonari sighed, pressing his palm to his forehead. He hated to repeat himself.   
-What does it take to have your complete attention, Kuroda? Are you aware of your position, or should I ask the guards to remind you?-  
-No, I'm... I'm aware- he grumbled again, looking away, -You were saying?-  
The young lord stood up. The sound of his heels, hitting the wooden tiles beneath him, seemed to follow a slow and sinister rhythm.  
As angry as he was, Kanbei wasn't ready to face him. He couldn't help but looking at his knees to avoid eye contact.   
Yoshitsugu was a truculent and gloomy man, indeed, but Motonari could be even scarier if he wanted.  
-Face me- he ordered, waiting for the older one to raise his head, -Why so shy all of a sudden? Are you afraid of me, Kanbei?- he asked, derisively.  
Kanbei kept silent.  
In that exact moment, Motonari could almost imagine the man as a pitiful dog, with both ears lowered out of shame. A venomous smile appeared on his face. 

He took a hidden letter out of his kimono, bringing it right under the other man's nose.  
-Bring this to Otomo Sorin before going back to your prison,- he said, almost whispering as if he didn't want to be heard, -and don't you dare take a peek at it-  
Before he could even realize anything, Motonari brutally put the letter under Kanbei's armor, as if it was nothing.   
As his hand reached the skin under the cold metal, Kanbei couldn't help but lean backward out of embarrassment.   
It has been a lot of time since someone touched him and it felt so unnatural he almost thought it was just his imagination.  
Because of his sudden movement, the letter got stuck in his armor's collar, making the young lord even angrier. But it was Kanbei, this time, who anticipated further discussions.  
-Why do I have to do this? You have tons of subordinates who could do this job!-

The rage in the young lord's eyes made Kanbei realize his mistake.  
He wasn't allowed to talk or act freely; he was nothing but a slave, after all. He gritted his teeth, bracing himself for another verbal abuse, but surprisingly... it didn't happen.  
Once he opened his eyes, he saw something different in Motonari's expression. He couldn't tell what it was, but he swore he saw a light fading in his pupils.  
-I don't owe you any explanation. Just do as I command-  
He didn't have to explain the consequences to a possible refusal of the task: he was already well aware of them. He didn't have much choice.  
Kanbei saw Motonari's hands reaching for the letter and hiding it gently under his armor. For the first time, he noticed how tiny they were compared to his.

-But... How am I supposed to let it out my armor with these shackles?-  
He legitimately asked, still confused by this sudden kindness. Motonari turned his gaze to his handcuffed hands.   
\- Sorin has no shame - he said with a disgusted face, it almost made Kanbei laugh, - Don't worry about these useless details. Just go -  
The older man lowered his head and finally exited the room.   
The sound of the iron ball, connected to his handcuffs, followed his steps.   
At that moment, he felt like a ghost, wandering through the castle in search of something he couldn't define.  
During his cumbersome march to the other wing of the castle, he couldn't help but think of what happened earlier.  
What was happening to Motonari?  
And why the hell was he acting so secretly and... So kindly to him?  
Was he plotting for a possible betrayal?  
That would be interesting, he thought, but highly unlikely.

Curiosity was killing him. If only he could reach his armor's collar, he would have read that letter to better understand what was going on, but there was nothing else he could do about it. He dragged the iron ball from room to room, mumbling to himself. This latter was a habit he had adopted due to his prolonged and unfair captivity.


	2. An odd meeting

In so many years of living, Kanbei had witnessed tons of strange things. Moving from court to court, he had seen many eccentric characters and eventually get used to them. From the insane personality of Oda Nobunaga to the Idealistic mind of Toyotomi Hideyoshi, he had entrusted his sword to the most peculiar lords of all time. However, Lord Sorin's cheerful nature was something he couldn't relate to any other lord he had met before.  
His enthusiasm was so out of place, within the Dark Lord's castle, he almost felt embarrassed for him. Even the walls and the shadows on the floor inspired terror in that place, keeper of dark schemes and insane and agonizing thoughts.  
His cheerfulness, though, was not the only thing that made him feel uneasy. It was his odd adoration for Motonari that surprised him the most: all it took was pronouncing his name to make him giggling like a girl in love.  
-Oh, dearest emissary! I couldn't be more grateful for your generous help. Please, take a seat and tell me everything!-  
The chained man felt like a spy. He was acting like one, after all, but it wasn't a suitable job for a lord of his caliber. He might be a hostage, and therefore a thrall to the castle's lords, but he was a Daimyo too.  
He took his mind off these tormenting thoughts and gave a bow to the young lord. While raising his head, he noticed a rare tenderness on his face, which made him feel a bit uncomfortable. As young and pretty as he was, he felt like talking to a child. At that point, he asked himself: how could he act in front of a boy who probably had his manhood rite just recently?  
He shook his head; of course, he would never disrespect him for such a small detail.  
-I've got a letter for you-

-A letter you say? For me?- he said merrily, his high-pitched voice almost deafened him, -Oh, Lord! What great news! He finally decided to open his heart to me!- he yelled, mostly to himself.  
-There's only one problem- he promptly anticipated, scratching his knee out of embarrassment, -Motonari has hidden the letter under my armor and as you can see - He raised his arms to show him his handcuffs better, -I've got both hands tied at the moment-  
Sorin's expression didn't seem to change at that revelation.  
-He's such a caring man. I wouldn't expect less from him!-  
Suddenly, his loving smiled shapeshifted into a disgusted grimace as he turned his gaze to his retainer.  
-Muneshige! take that letter to me!-

Muneshige was an old acquaitance of Kanbei.  
He was a giant of a man who appeared older than he was. His loyalty to his lord was well-known throughout the whole country.  
As he heard the boy screaming with such rage in his tone, treating his retainer as a slave, Kanbei asked himself if the man's loyalty was true. He was nothing but a vassal, after all. Vassals are supposed to obey their lords without even flinching. It was their job, their duty, and they couldn't escape their fate. So was Kanbei.  
As he turned his gaze to the young lord, he couldn't help but notice the size difference between the two.  
If he didn't know them better, he could have mistaken them for a father and his spoiled son.  
The old retainer asked his forgiveness before introducing his hand in his armor, in true Samurai fashion. His kindness and respect were so unexpected he almost felt touched.  
Muneshige smiled at him as a sign of gratitude, then, with his head still lowered, he brought the letter to his lord.

-If I may interrupt- said Kanbei, -Should I stay and wait for your reply, or should I take my leave?-  
The young lord was so focused on the content of the letter that he almost forgot the messenger.  
-Oh, dear! I'll have Muneshige bring it to Lord Motonari. Don't worry about it-  
-Well, if that's so- said the man, ready to leave the room.  
-Wait a minute!- yelled Sorin, pressing the letter to his chest as if he was holding a treasure, -How can I repay you for such kindness?-  
Kanbei froze for a moment.  
A reward? For such a simple task?  
His eyes started sparkling; it was a chance beyond rare, and he couldn't afford to waste it. He was about to ask Sorin to free him from his chains, or at least, to intermediate for him so he could ask Yoshitsugu for the keys. Just when he thought his misfortune couldn't be crueler with him, Sorin anticipated him with a different solution, nevertheless.  
-I got it!- he said, hitting the palm of his hand with a fist.  
-Oh, really?- said Kanbei, observing the young lord reaching for something. For a moment, he hoped it was the key, but just when he saw his hand taking a glass bottle and a handkerchief, he gave up.  
Those were all foreign objects, and he recognized them almost immediately.

In his younger days, Kanbei's father was tasked with buying some arquebuses to optimize their lord's army. Since Kanbei was his only heir and still inexperienced, he decided to entrust him with this task. His journey led him to Sakai, a city of merchants and foreign trades. Among all of those outlandish yet marvelous goods he saw displayed at the market, he remembered he was particularly attracted to glass. The first time they told him he could have a drink from a glass, he almost felt guilty to touch it with his lips.  
Such rare materials shouldn't be used for trivial uses, he thought. But the foreigners had plenty of those peculiar items to sell nonetheless. So was Sorin, who was surrounded by those items and deeply influenced by their lifestyle.  
Kanbei seemed to have recognized the cross on his neck, the holy symbol of the missionaries.  
He once had the chance to attend one of their ceremonies, diligently translated by a local pastor. He remembered the tears flowing down his cheek, falling for every word he heard. He had to admit it has always been fascinated by this religion, but he had never had time to learn more about it.

He was so absorbed by those melancholic memories that he didn't pay attention to the young lord, who had already left his cushion to get closer to him. Suddenly, without him noticing, Sorin hit his neck with the handkerchief, letting it rest against it for a while.  
The man held a moan, finally realizing what was happening to him.  
-What the hell?-  
-Done! Now you can go back to him!- said Sorin with an amused smile, waiting for his retainer to escort him out.  
-What? What the hell was that?- he sniffed the air, noticing an exotic fragrance coming from his neck.

Did he really put some perfume on him? What kind of reward was that? Although it was a rare object, he wasn't expecting something like this, absolutely, but he guessed he didn't have much choice. He was nothing but a prisoner there, and Yoshitsugu was the only one who could have given him the key. Thinking about it, begging for mediation was too much to ask.  
-Don't thank me! It was a pleasure!- Sorin waved his hand, watching Kanbei exiting the room.  
He noticed some guards waiting for him outside. He knew he had to come back to his cell, but he didn't want to go, not yet.  
That day he had the chance to stay out a little bit longer from his prison, more than usual, and he wanted to enjoy the light of the day as much as he could. He was tired of darkness, tired of being forced to live like a monkey in a cave.  
It was then when he decided to go back to Motonari.  
It was the only logical solution.

He tried to deceive the guards with a generic excuse, mentioning their Lord's name on purpose, and of course, it worked. It was a clear sign that they were so afraid of Motonari that they could never question his words.  
After that, he started walking across the rooms of the castle, dragging his iron ball. As he looked him from afar, sitting on the floor and drinking some tea, he felt inexplicably relieved to know that the snake was still there.  
-Kuroda, What are you doing here?- asked a confused Motonari, looking at him from his position -I didn't summon you-  
-I've delivered the letter to Sorin- he replied with unexpected pride in his tone.  
-Yes, I know. It was your task. There's no need to notify me-

Silence reigned again between them as he cut off the conversation with his cold replies. Kanbei was visibly panicking; he didn't know how to resume their talk, but he had to.  
But what was he supposed to say? Apart from receiving orders and being mocked from him, they didn't have a normal relationship, and of course, he couldn't tell him he was just trying to enjoy his yard time. His desperation let him try again nonetheless: he was sure he could come up with something.  
He was about to open his mouth, but it was Motonari who broke the silence instead.  
-What's that?- asked Motonari, getting closer and closer to him.  
He couldn't explain why, but this time, he decided to let him enter his personal space. He was so desperate he didn't even mind his presence.  
Motonari sniffed his neck. As he leaned backward, he tried to hide a smile with the beck of his hand.  
-That man will never change- he said, with unexpected softness in his tone.  
Kanbei wasn't aware of their relationship, but at that point, he asked himself if Sorin had ever witnessed such a rare scene.  
The sun was setting, drowning on a sea of mist.  
He had spent countless nights in that cell, but this time, the warmth of that smile would have let him rest peacefully.


	3. The Key

He hadn't heard anything from Motonari since then.  
The guards outside his cell had been talking about a mission, but nobody knew if he would make his way back to Osaka soon.   
Before that encounter, he couldn't care less about news like this, but this time he was feeling inexplicably sad.  
Motonari's tongue was poisonous indeed, more than Yoshitsugu's maybe, but his appearance and his manners weren't as disturbing as that old leprous mummy's.  
Besides, he even seemed to have improved his temper. At least, that's what he thought the last time they met.  
He bent his back, leaning against his iron ball, and got lost on these thoughts. Inevitably, that unusual smile came to his mind again. At this point, he asked himself how come the coldest person on earth has such a warm smile?  
The only two people he had seen smiling so far were Lord Sorin and his retainer, Muneshige. Yet he wondered if they weren't forced to do it due to the instance.  
The prison gate opened and a glimmer of light cast on the rough floor hurt his eyes, forcing him to cover them with his arms.   
He was so used to the darkness around him he noticed he wasn't able to see from a distance anymore. Every time he set a foot outside, it was so bright he felt like landing on another world.

He started counting the footsteps coming his way.  
After all the time he had passed confined in that place, he learned how to recognize the sound of each person's footsteps. They all had a particular rhythm and a kind of gait he could identify in a thousand.  
The rhythmic pace belonged to the guards, who unconsciously had the habit of marching even on a break. The rushed and angry stride belonged to the Dark King of the castle, Mitsunari, who used to drag his feet out of distress. The slow and sinister rhythm, which seemed to follow the same four notes, belonged to Motonari.  
However, that day he only heard two guards walking towards him, and none of those two rhythms he believed he was going to hear.  
At that point, he realized it was Yoshitsugu.

Yoshitsugu, whose illness had miserably devoured his body, used to float on a palanquin, and that was the reason why he has never been able to predict his arrival. He wandered like a ghost, showing himself out of a sudden to give you the fright of your life. Kanbei was already used to this, but the only things he couldn't get used to were the countless lashes as punishment and his obnoxious magic.   
There was nothing more hideous than being manipulated by his magic. It all begins with the sensation of being held by invisible hands, then you get slammed against every surface possible like an old toy, for the pleasure of his spellcaster.  
The sound of his magical orbs, floating behind him in an orderly fashion, caught his attention. However, he didn't cast his sight over him.

-You seem pretty calm lately, Kanbei. The guards had told me about your unusual silence recently. -  
The man didn't reply to that. He actually wanted to counterattack his vicious words, but he was just too tired for that.  
-You haven't talked to yourself either. Is there anything you're trying to hide from me? -

An invisible hand squeezed his neck. Kanbei gritted his teeth, annoyed by that displeasing sensation. It was true that he has always schemed behind their back. He was pretty confident about his plans for revenge, but this time he was truly innocent.  
He may have spent the whole time whispering to himself, letting them believe that he was plotting something, but he wasn't. He was actually thinking about _something else_.  
-What are you up to?-  
Asked the man in the palanquin, who started to use his magic to force him to get up and see him in his eyes.  
-Is there anything you'd like to share?-  
-I've got nothing to say, you snake!- he mumbled through his teeth,  
the invisible hand tightened around his neck, choking him.  
-How rude. We could always find a more diplomatic way to solve this little misunderstanding, don't you agree?-

Kanbei's hands started trembling. With his wrists both handcuffed, he couldn't reach his neck to rebel against the invisible grasp. So he moved his legs to kick the air, out of desperation. Just when he was about to run out of breath, the spell suddenly faded, dropping him to his knees.  
-I know you did a favor to Motonari- Said Yoshitsugu, finally revealing his true intentions, -not that I don't trust him or else, but I found it quite odd how he decided to ask you in the first place-  
-It was just a matter of convenience- he justified himself, breathing heavily, -I was there and he just asked me to do him a favor-  
-Oh, I see. So, where's the letter now?-  
Kanbei hesitated.  
Lying to protect Motonari's secret wasn't an option worth trying. However, he felt the need to do it. It was his accomplice, after all, unintentional maybe, but always an accomplice.

-Let me repeat it: where is it?-  
-I just delivered it. It's in his addresses' hands-  
-And who's this addresses you're talking about?-  
Again, his mind promptly refrained him from revealing further details.  
-It was one of his generals- he lied.  
-What was his name?-  
Kanbei's eyes widened open. What to do now? It would have been much easier if only he told him the truth. He basically got himself in trouble, and for what exactly?

What was the gain?

  
-I don't remember. He said I could meet him in a precise spot. I asked the soldiers for help-  
Yoshitsugu didn't seem satisfied with his report, but surprisingly he didn't intervene any further. He just turned his back, floating away towards the exit.

-Do me a favor, Kanbei- he said, before exiting that gloomy prison, - Do keep a constant eye on him for me. If you'll do as I say.... -   
Yoshitsugu showed him the key. As he saw them, Kanbei got up and started hitting the iron bars with his fists out of frustration.  
-The key!-  
His oppressor started smirking, leaving him alone.  
In a fit of rage, Kanbei kicked the walls of his narrow prison.  
His cries echoed through the whole dungeon, filling the inhuman silence around him.  
He would have found that letter and he would have saved himself from troubles.

He couldn't afford to live a single minute in those conditions anymore.


	4. at your side

-I'm afraid I might not be able to help you: I can't give you my Lord's letters. I would never do such a thing. It would be too outrageous.-

The two were sitting on their knees facing each other, in a chamber specifically reserved for the Otomo Clan's generals. Tachibana Muneshige was too good a man, and maybe too empathic. If he had asked something like this to another Samurai, Kanbei would have lost his head. Literally.  
He sighed, bending his head backward.  
-What should I do? Didn't you read it? Can't you sum up its content for me?-  
-Even if I knew it, I couldn't tell you. Sorin is my lord; I can't betray his trust-  
-I mean, you've got all the right to say this, but... If I don't do it, I'll be the one betraying Yoshitsugu's trust-  
Of course, this small circumstance wasn't truly part of his concerns: it was just a matter of surviving.  
The whole room where the vassal was staying fell silent.  
As much as Muneshige wanted to help, he knew he couldn't do much for him. He couldn't just choose between a longtime friend and his Lord. He would always put honor and respect for his Lord above all, nonetheless.

-If I recall correctly- he suddenly said, grabbing the other man's attention, -The last time the Mori came to Kyushu, they had been talking about something they had to interrupt all of a sudden.-  
-What is it all about? Do you think it could be related to the letter?-  
Said the man, who seemed to have had gained confidence again.  
-It's possible. My lord isn't the type of person who would keep a secret exchange of correspondence. However, it was... an _intimate_ conversation, that's it -  
He couldn't tell how intimate was their friendship, but at this rate, he guessed it has something to do with a personal matter.

Deep down in his heart, he was hoping for a secret uprising. An alliance, maybe, to turn the tables with Mitsunari and finally take over. If Motonari was willing to do so, he would have changed his opinion of him. After all, it was as bright as the sun that his friendship with Yoshitsugu was nothing more than a relationship of convenience. Every time he reminded him of their bond, it seemed like he was forcing Motonari to recognize it instead.  
As a matter of fact, his latest scheme had confirmed Kanbei's theory on them.

-Tell me- said Kanbei abruptly, -It's about the Western Army, isn't it? I've got the feeling nobody believes in this alliance as they should-   
Muneshige raised an eyebrow.  
-Oh, nothing of the sort-  
Kanbei opened his mouth to reply, but he couldn't put the words together.  
Then what it was all about?  
The old retainer scratched his beard, visibly embarrassed.  
-Apart from when he came to us, suggesting the alliance with the Western Army, they had never discussed such things. My lord cares only for the spread of our cult-  
-Then what are they supposed to talk about?-  
-Well- the man lowered his head, starting whispering, -about family matters-  
Kanbei shook his head.  
-Are you telling me that the Otomo and the Mori Clans want to... join the two families together with an arranged marriage?-  
Muneshige waved his hand as a sign of denial.  
-My lord is still too young, he's not even married yet! As for me, my wife and I have never been blessed with a child-

Kanbei scratched his knees -May I ask what it is all about?-  
Muneshige's face darkened at that question.   
He lowered his eyes, smiling bitterly.  
-I'm not allowed to hear what it's said during the sacrament of confession, but that day I've heard that the Mori Clan is... grieving. My lord had tried to comfort him as much as he could, but they had no time left and yet, many other concerns-  
Kanbei widened his eyes. Soon, he ended up doing same thing as the man, lowering his eyes too.  
-The Mori Clan is... grieving?-

He could have never imagined that under his cold armor, Motonari had a soft spot. He has heard that he had no emotions. He has heard he had no mercy for his own subordinates too. But Muneshige was telling him that that arrogant boy was actually harboring pain in his heart.  
He shook his head again, connecting everything in his mind.  
That day, he had seen something changing in his eyes and maybe it wasn't just his imagination. For the first time, he had witnessed sadness in his gaze.  
-May I know who did they lost?-  
Muneshige scratched his cheek. It was a conditioned reflex he had when he was embarrassed.  
-I'm not sure about it, but it must have had a tremendous impact on him-  
The two kept silent for a while, their eyes fixed on the floor.

-I still need proof. Yoshitsugu believes that they are plotting behind his back-   
-Don't worry about it- said the man, putting his hand on the other's shackles as a sign of support, -I won't let Otani doubt my lord again-  
-What do you intend to do then? If we don't have evidence, then he will have all the right to think so. Even worse, he could make his own proofs!-  
Kanbei knew Yoshitsugu's mind. He was well aware of what his villainy was capable of: he would have just frame someone and put the blame on him.  
-The word of a Samurai should be enough-  
-Words are never enough with him-  
-I can't hand the letter over to Otani- insisted Muneshige, trying to protect his lord's privacy.  
-What should we do then? How can we prove otherwise?-  
Muneshige seemed more confused than ever.   
He was internally struggling with himself, therefore he couldn't concentrate much.  
Kanbei sighed, shaking his head out of resignation.

-We're doomed. No, _I'm_ doomed!- he snapped all of a sudden, -no matter how things turn out, I'll always be the scapegoat! Even if Yoshitsugu would have got Motonari in the henhouse, I'll always be the one... - he froze on the spot, realizing something, -Yeah... Motonari!- he stood up from his position, smiling again, -I'm sure he would come out with a great plan!-  
Muneshige seemed to agree with his statement.  
-Motonari is a clever man. You should just let him know-  
-There's just one problem- he suddenly remembered, falling on his knees, as if he couldn't physically stand the weight of this awareness, -I can't do it. I need someone to intercede for me-  
-Why? You're a Daimyo too, after all-  
-because he hates me, that's why! Now that I'm thinking about it, it's not a good idea at all! If he could excape this troble, he won't certainly care for me. I'm pretty sure he would find a way to blame me instead-

-Why would he do something like this?-  
-Isn't it obvious?- said Kanbei, with annoyance in his tone, -because I've always been scheming behind their back. If they will find out that it's just one of my plans to get them to turn against each other, even if it's not true, I will always be in troubles!-  
Muneshige finally stood up, going back and forth to the room, in search of a solution.   
He didn't want his friend to be blamed unfairly.

-I guess Motonari won't be able to help you anyhow. He's currently working on the Siege of Gassan-Toda. But... if Yoshitsugu had asked you to keep an eye on him, you could join him in Itsukushima and deliver a letter from me-  
Kanbei's eyes sparkled with new hope as he heard those words.  
-Would you really do this for me?- he asked, almost touched.  
Muneshige gave him a warm smile in return.  
-We promised we would have protected Kyushu together, don't you remember? I would never abandon a dear friend like this. The Tachibana Clan is with you-


	5. A man like you

The mere view of the marvelous Itsukushima shrine, made the man felt stunned by such greatness. It was one of the most beautiful views he had ever seen in his life. The whole complex and its great Torii on the outskirts were both facing the Seto sea. At high tides, you could see the entire building floating on water as if by magic. On the other hand, as a contrast to the enchantment of the sea, a jubilation of green was lying just behind it, attesting the divine connection between earth and sea. The pillars that supported the complex and the Torii's base were as high as a man of average height. If Kanbei, who was a giant of a man, was trapped in there by accident, he would have been submerged up to his neck.  
The shrine, which was built on the little Miyajima Island, radiated a sacred aura that was as appealing as its story.  
It was commissioned during the Heian period by Taira no Kiyomori in person. This powerful lord had ordered the construction of the main hall to reflect his power. As a consequence, it soon became a lively place of pilgrimage. It was already laying on a holy site, and it was dedicated to the three goddesses of navigation, daughters of the god Susanoo.   
A man from his naval escort informed him about the restorations commissioned from the Mōri family, which had included the Torii gate as well. As proof of his family's power and his blind faith, Motonari had put all his heart and soul into this project. A gigantic mirror, dedicated to the sun goddess, Amaterasu, was also donated from him to the temple*. He had it positioned in the central body of the building so that everyone could see it from miles away.

Kanbei was walking guardedly through the corridors of the shrine complex, intimidated by the continuous presence of the banners of the Mōri and the Murakami Clan, their allies. He was carrying two letters with him, both hidden under his overcoat. Apart from the one written by Muneshige, Lord Sorin has also asked him to deliver his reply to Motonari's previous letter since he was about to go there.  
Deep inside, he hoped his plan would work. Even if he was aware of the man's feelings at the moment, he was sure he could never hit him where it hurts. But he was confident, and he would have tried his best to let it work. Even if he had to kneel and hit his forehead a thousand times against the floor, nothing would have stopped him.

The monks who had welcomed the man asked him to wait outside since the young lord was still praying. It was early morning, and Kanbei had spent the whole night thinking about the right thing to say. Sailing with that wicked iron ball made him sick since it allowed him to stay only in certain positions. Fortunately, his thoughts were so deep he didn't even notice how much time had passed.  
As he saw Motonari walking on the central pier, he thought it was all an illusion. That peace in his eyes seemed almost unnatural to Kanbei, who had dreamt of him all night. In his oneiric debates with the young lord, he was wearing his suit armor, his piercing gaze reading his mind.  
The rewarding sensation of victory on his greatest rival, head of the Amago Clan, must have brought him some peace of mind, he thought.

As the moment of confrontation arrived, he found himself speechless.  
Ironically, keeping silent was the right thing to do: Motonari was already aware of what he was going to say, or so it seemed.  
-Kuroda-, he said, carrying a neutral tone in his voice, -What are you doing here? Did Otani send you to spy on me?-  
Kanbei couldn't help but smile. He already knew everything, as he expected.  
-I've got letters for you-  
The young lord came closer to him, a mocking smile appeared on his face.  
-You seem to enjoy your job as a messenger, aren't you?-  
As an embarrassing silence followed his words, he understood that it was physically impossible for that man to give him those letters.  
Without saying a single word, Motonari reached for his armor. However, the man took a step back right before he could introduce his hand under it.  
-On the left- he said, giving him instructions.

Motonari took the two letters from the left side of the belt under his tattered overcoat. They were both enveloped in an additional layer of paper, which the two lords used to protect and hide their signatures. He opened the first one. As he saw the Otomo family crest, he didn't flinch, but once he recognized the Tachibana family crest in the second one, he immediately turned his gaze to the other man.  
-Now, that's interesting -  
-Were you expecting a letter from Yoshitsugu?-  
The young lord smiled, but he didn't reply. He beckoned him to leave while folding the two letters. It wasn't the right place to talk about certain things.  
They reached the rooms next to the Nōh theatre and sat on the floor so that the young lord could take his time to read Muneshige's letter.  
He would have reserved Sorin's reply for late. 

-In essence, what do you expect me to do?- he asked, his eyes still locked on the paper.  
-What?- Kanbei was confused; didn't Muneshige explain it all on his letter already?  
-The fact that Yoshitsugu puts no trust in me isn't a mystery. No man on earth who's wise enough should do it in the first place-  
Though unexpected, the irony on his tone wasn't enough to bring Kanbei to reality. He was still trying to figure out what the man has written in that letter.  
-I'm talking to you-  
-Yeah, I know it, damn it!- he said abruptly. It was only afterward he realized he was talking too rudely. As he heard the younger man getting up quickly, he glanced down to avoid eye contact.  
At that moment, he asked himself: how could a man like him fall for the same mistakes over and over?  
Motonari set a heeled boot on his leg, forcing him to look at his eyes by pulling his hair. Kanbei gritted his teeth, enduring the pain. With such a delicate appearance, he had to admit he had underestimated his strength.

-I won't repeat it twice: what do you want from me?-  
-I've come on Muneshige's behalf- he reiterated, wailing in pain, -And Yoshitsugu's-   
-You came for _your_ interests, aren't you?- his grasp tightened, a tear for pain fell down the man's cheek.  
-Yes! Yes, It's true! Now please, let me go!-  
As the older man confessed, Motonari dropped him on his knees.  
It took him a while to catch his breath. He was regretting those moments he felt sorry for him.

-let me guess- said Motonari, preceding the man, -you came here to ask me a favor, isn't it?-  
-I want you to bring me out of this trouble-, he admitted, cruelly sincere.  
-Bold of you to ask for my help. You must be desperate, I see. Mind you, if we weren't in such a place I would have lashed you for your boldness already-  
-Yoshitsugu is suspecting us of collusion-  
-I know. It was part of my plan-  
Kanbei flinched, his eyes widened.  
-What?-  
-Just think it over, Kuroda. Why on earth would I ask you to deliver that letter for me?-  
The man's face turned red with rage.  
-You wanted to frame me since the very beginning!-  
-You were so close that day, pity that you couldn't refuse the task anyway-  
The older man clumsily rose to his feet. Motonari was right: if they weren't in such a place, he would have crushed him with his iron ball, screaming at him at the top of his lungs.  
As angry as he was, Motonari decided to kept silent at first. He just stood up slowly to meet his gaze.  
-Let me be frank, I have never cared about you. Helping you will grant me no gain. However...-  
he paused, getting closer and closer to the man.   
Everyone knew Motonari as a Demon slayer. During his life, he has fought three of them, always coming out these fights unscathed**. That is why he felt no fear within his heart while confronting Kanbei, who was threefold his size.  
-I need a man like you-

These words, almost whispered, had a strange impact on Kanbei, who was still trying to realize everything. The message was clear, and yet it sounded too ambiguous. He froze on the spot, his eyes locked on the younger man, whose face traits resembled those of a Kitsune in that very moment.  
-You want me to work for you?-  
As the hands of the younger one reached for his armor, erasing distances, Kanbei broke into a cold sweat.  
-You are already doing it without noticing-, the fox-eyed man looked at him fearlessly. Although his stoic gaze, his eyes were even more revealing than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Historical Inaccuracy: the information about the mirror is taken from the game. The Solar Nexus, in fact, can be found on Itsukushima's map.
> 
> **Historically, Mouri Motonari is said to have fought "two demons" or "Oni", to be precise. It was a title given to those Samurai whose combat skills were as fierce as the Oni's, who are said to be the most powerful creatures in the world. The First Oni was Amago Tsunehisa, late lord of the Amago clan and grandfather to Haruhisa. The second one was the head of the Kikkawa Clan, while the third is Motochika. Thought this latter had never met the true Motonari, but it's just related to the game verse.


	6. A Lovely trap

An unkempt set of rebellious locks was covering the man's forehead. It was his shield against inquiring gazes, protecting him from the curse of his honest eyes. Though blessed with a brilliant mind, he wasn't able to lie, not even to protect his interests. He couldn't help himself, and Motonari was well aware of it.  
It was true that the young lord was gifted with the ability to translate people's gazes and silence at a glance, but Kanbei was more than an open book to him. Being able to manipulate his actions, rather than understand him, was crucial.  
Neither violence nor long imprisonment have been able to bend him once.  
He had endured the pain like a Bodhisattva, he had to give him that, but his hard feelings were still holding him back from Nirvana.

It was then when Motonari decided to play the role of the good guy. He would have treated him with kindness, if necessary, and made him believe to be at his side against Otani's madness. That was the plan the two Daimyos have agreed before his departure to Gassan-Toda. Kanbei was a useful tool for both of them, and they couldn't afford to lose him like that.

-He trusts you more than anyone else here- the words of that day echoed insistently through his skull, -Since you didn't imprison him, he probably doesn't blame you for his current state-  
-He receives nothing but harsh words from me. If he dares to defy my orders, I give him the right punishment- he reminded Yoshitsugu, looking him straight into his eyes.  
-This doesn't mean that he doesn't like you-  
Motonari wasn't used to set this kind of traps. Using his charm to seduce potential allies, it simply wasn't in his nature. However, as Yoshitsugu predicted, it took him nothing but few words to lead him directly to his trap.

_

Like two lovers, afraid of being caught sinning, they were looking at each other in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to start.  
The hand of the younger one slipped on the other man's leg, who was lying with his back against the floor, biting his upper lip. Kanbei had never felt so bothered by the fabric of his clothes before! It was as if it shrank on him, and the weight of his armor got heavier than usual.   
-Be good now, don't make me mad- whispered the young one, who was sitting right beside him to have a complete view of the man from above, his hand slowly heading to his crotch.

Since the day they last met at Osaka, Kanbei has been feeling the urge to be touched by those delicate hands of him. That night, however, he felt less motivated than Motonari, who on the other hand seemed to enjoy provoking the man.  
It was such an odd situation; he had been thinking about him all the time, doubting his own grief towards the younger one, but now he was regretting everything.

-How did we end up like this?- asked an embarrassed Kanbei, who was trying to do some irony to kill the tension.  
-You're talking too much- said Motonari, finally sitting on the giant's lap.  
The pressure of his body on him sent shivers down Kanbei's spine. He started sweating as he felt an annoying sensation down his groin.  
He was pretty sure it was all a trap: his wicked fox-like eyes were telling him so. But, at that moment, he couldn't betray his own instinct. And if he would have killed him after that, or publicly executed, he wouldn't have minded. At least, he would have departed Earth without _this_ regret.

The boy's hand continued exploring the man's body under his armor, searching for the belt to unfasten his trousers.   
-Wait!- begged the man, getting his back off the ground to look into his eyes. At first, the younger one flinched at his reaction, but then he put his hand on the man's face, forcing him to lie on the floor again.  
-What did I say?-  
-The armor's weight is killing me. I can't take it anymore-  
He was sweating under that metal cage, and the boy's sharp eyes were making things worse.

Motonari sighed, pulling him close to him by the armor's collar.  
-How bothersome. Are you aware of what you're making me do?-  
Kanbei couldn't help but smile. He found the way he was clumsily trying to get rid of his clothes cute.  
-You're not in a hurry, right?- he said, sarcastically.   
Motonari ignored him, he wasn't in the mood to listen to his provoking jokes.   
Kanbei put a hand on the other's leg to grab his attention. Although he was moving confidently, his eyes and his red cheeks were a clear sign of embarrassment. For a second, he even had the impression he was avoiding eye contact.   
-Let me help you with it- said the man in a whisper, putting his arms around him, -will you forgive me for taking command this time?-  
Motonari didn't reply, he just let him touch his neck with his lips, giving him instructions.

The man left bite marks across his skin as if he was tasting a sweet fruit.  
As a response, the boy's back arched but his hand hit him in the face before he could go further.   
He couldn't admit he liked it since he still wanted to have full control of the situation. Luckily, Kanbei was an experienced man and stubborn by nature, so he ended up laughing at that odd reaction.  
It was such an ironic scene. They were both fighting against pride and desire, and they found themselves more confused than ever.

They were lying on the floor, shoulder against shoulder, the sound of their breaths filling the silence around them. Kanbei covered his sight with his arms, trying to catch his breath. He was afraid of his feelings now.  
He knew they were in an odd relationship of mutual interest, but that night he just wanted to deceive himself for a while.  
He just wanted to believe he was all to himself, beyond every other reason.


End file.
